I think most women poison those we love on at least some occasions in our lives...although, unlike poor Lord Randal, our victims tend to be symbolically poisoned rather than literally. Poison is called a woman's weapon, and there might a good reason for this.
When someone whom we love hurts us, we may react with a deep, aching hurt that instead of bursting forth in rage remains within us, slowly consuming us, until the anger we feel toward the other person literally poisons our view of him (or her). We smear their image with blackness until nothing redeemable appears to remain...and certainly nothing worth loving any longer.
I did this to my ex-husband. He had an affair with a former girlfriend a few years into our marriage, and instead of immediately breaking up with him, which would have been the really kind thing to do for both of us, I remained with him a year. During that year, my anger toward him steadily eroded any feeling of love or compassion I might have retained for him. Every time we argued, my anger would come spilling out, not in a rage but in a cold, calculated, vicious anger that left him speechless and only fed on the hatred that was inside me. By the time I finally divorced him, and dumped him at his mother's house, where he planned to stay briefly, I was almost laughing as I drove away and left him in tears. I had gone from being someone who would have done anything for him to someone who would have done almost anything to him, just to see him suffer.
We can only conjecture on why Lord Randal's lover poisoned him, but it certainly makes one wonder whether he wounded her in some way that poisoned her feelings toward him, leading her to betray him in the ultimate manner.
Saturday, March 18, 2017
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Edward
Returning home with a blade dripping with blood, Edward must be questioned numerous times by his mother before he admits whose blood it is...his father's. While this technique was obviously used to build up suspense, it seems to also ultimately place responsibility for Edward's murder of his father upon the shoulders of his mother. In the end, he curses her for the counsels she has given him that made him commit this vile act.
It goes without saying that Edward himself is responsible for the murder of his father, regardless of the advice whispered into his ear by his mother. Yet Edward himself does not see this, or at least not to the extent that he takes full responsibility.
Blaming others for one's mistakes is nothing new. It does, however, seem more prevalent today, where everything seems to be somebody else's fault. If another individual is not directly to blame, then it is one's life circumstances, one's childhood, one's marriage, the stresses in one's life, etc, etc.
Ultimately, everyone is responsible for himself, no matter what may have led to the circumstances one finds himself in. Blaming others is just a way of deflecting the blame, thereby losing the opportunity to learn from adversity, and grow. Adults accept the fact that they are responsible for their own mistakes.
It goes without saying that Edward himself is responsible for the murder of his father, regardless of the advice whispered into his ear by his mother. Yet Edward himself does not see this, or at least not to the extent that he takes full responsibility.
Blaming others for one's mistakes is nothing new. It does, however, seem more prevalent today, where everything seems to be somebody else's fault. If another individual is not directly to blame, then it is one's life circumstances, one's childhood, one's marriage, the stresses in one's life, etc, etc.
Ultimately, everyone is responsible for himself, no matter what may have led to the circumstances one finds himself in. Blaming others is just a way of deflecting the blame, thereby losing the opportunity to learn from adversity, and grow. Adults accept the fact that they are responsible for their own mistakes.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Get Up and Bar the Door
Reading this poem led me, in a roundabout way, to consider the consequences of choice.
A wife and a husband have a disagreement about who should get up and lock the door, as neither of them wish to be the one to do so. This results in their being robbed, insulted and almost assaulted while they stubbornly refuse to be the first to speak, until the husband, in desperation, finally does so, and his wife is so happy to have won the argument that she skips around on the floor. None of the consequences of their obstinacy seem to weigh upon her.
On a larger scale, it led me to ponder one of the books I read lately, which shall remain nameless, but puts forth the theory that organized religion (and, as such, God) suppresses our "good" impulses, natural instincts, etc, etc, leading the author to the theory that God, who is responsible for such, should be overthrown.
What I cannot understand is how the author fails to realize what would happen if everyone simply did whatever they wanted to. This might be enjoyable to a certain extent, but certainly would not be enjoyable for everyone, especially those whose rights were infringed upon. The ultimate result of a state of being in which everyone simply did what they wanted would be not just ludicrous, but heinous, for an entire variety of reasons too numerous to write about here.
Religion exists (or should exist) to remind us to treat others as we would like to be treated.
God gives us free will because He is God...and He is only able to do so because He is God. If He were human, like us, He would find the consequences of such, with our limited understanding, unbearable, and would constantly intervene, as we often wish He would.
God gives us free will in the hope that we will make the right choices, not all of the time because it is impossible for us to do so, but most of the time, so that we can show our Love for Him and each other. When we fail to do so, it is not God who is to blame for our failures. Yet I think some of those who think God does not exist because bad things happen actually blame God, instead of free will.
If one stops and really thinks about it, our ability to control our own instincts and desires is what makes us godlike...and our ability to judge what is right and what is not is part of what reflects our being made in His image, as Immanuel Kant himself said when speaking of the categorical imperative.
A wife and a husband have a disagreement about who should get up and lock the door, as neither of them wish to be the one to do so. This results in their being robbed, insulted and almost assaulted while they stubbornly refuse to be the first to speak, until the husband, in desperation, finally does so, and his wife is so happy to have won the argument that she skips around on the floor. None of the consequences of their obstinacy seem to weigh upon her.
On a larger scale, it led me to ponder one of the books I read lately, which shall remain nameless, but puts forth the theory that organized religion (and, as such, God) suppresses our "good" impulses, natural instincts, etc, etc, leading the author to the theory that God, who is responsible for such, should be overthrown.
What I cannot understand is how the author fails to realize what would happen if everyone simply did whatever they wanted to. This might be enjoyable to a certain extent, but certainly would not be enjoyable for everyone, especially those whose rights were infringed upon. The ultimate result of a state of being in which everyone simply did what they wanted would be not just ludicrous, but heinous, for an entire variety of reasons too numerous to write about here.
Religion exists (or should exist) to remind us to treat others as we would like to be treated.
God gives us free will because He is God...and He is only able to do so because He is God. If He were human, like us, He would find the consequences of such, with our limited understanding, unbearable, and would constantly intervene, as we often wish He would.
God gives us free will in the hope that we will make the right choices, not all of the time because it is impossible for us to do so, but most of the time, so that we can show our Love for Him and each other. When we fail to do so, it is not God who is to blame for our failures. Yet I think some of those who think God does not exist because bad things happen actually blame God, instead of free will.
If one stops and really thinks about it, our ability to control our own instincts and desires is what makes us godlike...and our ability to judge what is right and what is not is part of what reflects our being made in His image, as Immanuel Kant himself said when speaking of the categorical imperative.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
The Wife of Usher's Well
Can people really come back to life from the dead?
Jesus did, of course (although He was not just a person, but also divine) and He raised Lazarus from the dead. In this poem, however, there is no divine intervention mentioned--the mother of the three sons declares she will wait for her sons' return forever if need be, and they do return for one night (Martinmas) whereon they revel with her and the maids of the household until dawn.
Martinmas traditionally falls on November 11, and was once observed as the beginning of Advent. Perhaps the tradition of ghost stories at Christmastime was already prevalent in this era, or this legend may have been one of the events giving rise to it.
Do ghosts experience some sort of "liberation" around Christmas? I know that for years, Christmastime was the time of year when I had the most vivid dreams of those I had lost, and not only were the dreams very vivid, I actually was able to converse with them and ask them questions. Some of them seemed confused by where they were, but some of them were glowing with vitality and joy, and looked better than I had ever seen them look when they were actually alive!
My mother's mother appeared to her after she had died, bathed in a golden light, at Christmastime.
I actually think the spirits of those who have left us can come back and communicate with us, but not all of us are able to feel their presence. I myself have only experienced it in dreams, but my father had an interesting story to tell about spirits.
When he was a boy, one of his aunts was a "spiritualist," for lack of a better word, who conducted seances. Out of curiosity, he attended one. As they were all sitting in the darkness, he kept hearing someone behind him coughing, but nobody was there.
At some point in the seance, his aunt told him that his spirit guide had appeared and was standing behind him. She was a young girl who had died of pneumonia or consumption...hence the cough he kept hearing! He fled from the room and never returned. Years later, as a joke, we asked him what he thought she did while he was playing tennis, since she obviously had such severe respiratory problems, and he said, "Maybe she waits in the car."
Jesus did, of course (although He was not just a person, but also divine) and He raised Lazarus from the dead. In this poem, however, there is no divine intervention mentioned--the mother of the three sons declares she will wait for her sons' return forever if need be, and they do return for one night (Martinmas) whereon they revel with her and the maids of the household until dawn.
Martinmas traditionally falls on November 11, and was once observed as the beginning of Advent. Perhaps the tradition of ghost stories at Christmastime was already prevalent in this era, or this legend may have been one of the events giving rise to it.
Do ghosts experience some sort of "liberation" around Christmas? I know that for years, Christmastime was the time of year when I had the most vivid dreams of those I had lost, and not only were the dreams very vivid, I actually was able to converse with them and ask them questions. Some of them seemed confused by where they were, but some of them were glowing with vitality and joy, and looked better than I had ever seen them look when they were actually alive!
My mother's mother appeared to her after she had died, bathed in a golden light, at Christmastime.
I actually think the spirits of those who have left us can come back and communicate with us, but not all of us are able to feel their presence. I myself have only experienced it in dreams, but my father had an interesting story to tell about spirits.
When he was a boy, one of his aunts was a "spiritualist," for lack of a better word, who conducted seances. Out of curiosity, he attended one. As they were all sitting in the darkness, he kept hearing someone behind him coughing, but nobody was there.
At some point in the seance, his aunt told him that his spirit guide had appeared and was standing behind him. She was a young girl who had died of pneumonia or consumption...hence the cough he kept hearing! He fled from the room and never returned. Years later, as a joke, we asked him what he thought she did while he was playing tennis, since she obviously had such severe respiratory problems, and he said, "Maybe she waits in the car."
Monday, January 16, 2017
Kemp Owyne
Kemp Owyne is a tale of a maiden abused by her stepmother and cursed to remain an ugly sea monster until a man has the courage to kiss her 3 times. The stepmother believes the maiden will be imprisoned forever, because nobody will have the fortitude to break the spell, but Kemp Owyne does, and after kissing the unfortunate girl 3 times, ends up with a beautiful wife, plus a host of weapons that will defend him from any attempts to draw his blood.
The story is similar to that of Sir Gawain, once the most noble and admired of Arthur's knights, and Dame Ragnell. Dame Ragnell is known far and wide for her ugliness, but when Gawain is forced to marry her, and begins to love her for her character, she becomes more beautiful with each passing day, until he is so besotted with her by the time that she dies that he actually goes insane for a period of time.
While the obvious meaning of these poems deals with the lifting of enchantment by the brave, it could also be seen as a tribute to the transforming power of love. Too many times people are given up on, because they are not seen as worth saving, or the price of the saving seems too high for the one who is attempting to accomplish it. While there are people who stubbornly stick to self-defeating habits and addictions from which they are unable to be freed, there are others for whom love is enough to truly accomplish a change, in their lives and sometimes even in their characters.
There is, according to the Bible, no power greater than love, and the writers of Owyne Kemp and Dame Ragnell, all of the saints themselves, and everyone who has ever given love to someone and seen it literally change their lives knows this.
The story is similar to that of Sir Gawain, once the most noble and admired of Arthur's knights, and Dame Ragnell. Dame Ragnell is known far and wide for her ugliness, but when Gawain is forced to marry her, and begins to love her for her character, she becomes more beautiful with each passing day, until he is so besotted with her by the time that she dies that he actually goes insane for a period of time.
While the obvious meaning of these poems deals with the lifting of enchantment by the brave, it could also be seen as a tribute to the transforming power of love. Too many times people are given up on, because they are not seen as worth saving, or the price of the saving seems too high for the one who is attempting to accomplish it. While there are people who stubbornly stick to self-defeating habits and addictions from which they are unable to be freed, there are others for whom love is enough to truly accomplish a change, in their lives and sometimes even in their characters.
There is, according to the Bible, no power greater than love, and the writers of Owyne Kemp and Dame Ragnell, all of the saints themselves, and everyone who has ever given love to someone and seen it literally change their lives knows this.
Friday, January 13, 2017
Johnie Armstrong
It is difficult to understand why a king, with all of his wealth and prestige, would lust after the little bit of wealth owned by Johnie Armstrong the outlaw. Yet the king in this poem summons Johnie to his castle on the pretext of recognizing him, promising to do him no harm, and then betrays him, killing not only Johnie Armstrong but half of his followers .
When I read this poem, I thought about the landlord who rented properties to two very good friends of mine. Both of my friends were ideal tenants...never a day late with the rent, taking good care of the properties, trying their best to be good neighbors to those people who lived near them. Yet when they eventually moved out, he refused to give them back their deposits, even though it was a mere fraction of what they had paid to him in rent over the years.
He claimed that the unfinished wood floors had scratches on them (after 8 years!) and that the furniture and sundry other items he had stored in the basements of the homes were really theirs, left behind for him to dispose of. He must have forgotten the Christmas baskets he sent every year with cards thanking them for being the best tenants he ever had.
When it comes to greed, unfortunately, some people will always find a way to justify their actions . It doesn't matter how much they already have, or how little the person they are victimizing has. All that matters is what they want.
I know my friends' landlord feels perfectly justified in keeping the deposits that he was supposed to refund. Several years after they moved out, he happened to encounter one of them at a healthcare clinic, and had the audacity to approach him and ask him how things were going. My friend was too polite to say to him what he should have, but if I had seen him, I wouldn't even have given him the satisfaction of speaking to him.
When I read this poem, I thought about the landlord who rented properties to two very good friends of mine. Both of my friends were ideal tenants...never a day late with the rent, taking good care of the properties, trying their best to be good neighbors to those people who lived near them. Yet when they eventually moved out, he refused to give them back their deposits, even though it was a mere fraction of what they had paid to him in rent over the years.
He claimed that the unfinished wood floors had scratches on them (after 8 years!) and that the furniture and sundry other items he had stored in the basements of the homes were really theirs, left behind for him to dispose of. He must have forgotten the Christmas baskets he sent every year with cards thanking them for being the best tenants he ever had.
When it comes to greed, unfortunately, some people will always find a way to justify their actions . It doesn't matter how much they already have, or how little the person they are victimizing has. All that matters is what they want.
I know my friends' landlord feels perfectly justified in keeping the deposits that he was supposed to refund. Several years after they moved out, he happened to encounter one of them at a healthcare clinic, and had the audacity to approach him and ask him how things were going. My friend was too polite to say to him what he should have, but if I had seen him, I wouldn't even have given him the satisfaction of speaking to him.
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
Binnorie: Or,The Two Sisters
Could a sister actually drown her own sister in order to obtain a lover and more lands?
Probably. Even nowadays, some people are capable of doing just about anything to get what they want. When I first read this, after ruminating over the heinous ending, where a harp made of the dead girl's breastbone and hair accuses her murderous sister in the king's hall, I thought of more modern parallels to the poem, like the story of my cousin's friend Teddy.
Teddy lives with his widowed mother part of the time. The other part of the time, he spends in the local homeless shelter, whenever Teddy's three brothers and his mother become tired of his drinking, or simply do not want him around. When Teddy's mother passes away, she intends to leave all of her money to her other sons, because "Teddy will just squander the funds on his alcohol habit."
The ironic thing about the situation is that Teddy is the only one who actually does anything for his mother. When he does stay with her, he cooks for her, cleans her house, helps her with her finances, mows her yard or shovels her snow, goes on errands, maintains her home, repairs her car and does everything else that his brothers refuse to do.
His brothers rarely, if ever, come by. Once in a while they will pick mom up for a social occasion or, when the mood takes them, show up to castigate her for allowing Teddy to stay there once more. Teddy then gets driven back to the homeless shelter, until such a time as his mother realizes she needs him again and fetches him back home.
Teddy's brothers say he should be grateful for the times she lets him stay with her, as she is the only one in the world who wants anything to do with him, due to his drinking.
Since being put into the shelter the first time, Teddy has endured occasional nights on the street, beatings for his few meager possessions, and a fall that has permanently damaged his shoulder, causing him to lean forward permanently. Yet he continues to faithfully care for his mother whenever she takes the notion to take him back, in spite of his brothers having ensured that once she is gone, Teddy really will have nobody and nothing in the world, in spite of the many things he has done to help their mother and their family.
Something like a modern day King Lear, where the siblings not only refuse to help their aging parent, but hate the one sibling who actually does.
But to return to the subject of Binnorie, yes, siblings really are capable of doing in another sibling to get what they want. Like Teddy's siblings are slowly killing him.
Probably. Even nowadays, some people are capable of doing just about anything to get what they want. When I first read this, after ruminating over the heinous ending, where a harp made of the dead girl's breastbone and hair accuses her murderous sister in the king's hall, I thought of more modern parallels to the poem, like the story of my cousin's friend Teddy.
Teddy lives with his widowed mother part of the time. The other part of the time, he spends in the local homeless shelter, whenever Teddy's three brothers and his mother become tired of his drinking, or simply do not want him around. When Teddy's mother passes away, she intends to leave all of her money to her other sons, because "Teddy will just squander the funds on his alcohol habit."
The ironic thing about the situation is that Teddy is the only one who actually does anything for his mother. When he does stay with her, he cooks for her, cleans her house, helps her with her finances, mows her yard or shovels her snow, goes on errands, maintains her home, repairs her car and does everything else that his brothers refuse to do.
His brothers rarely, if ever, come by. Once in a while they will pick mom up for a social occasion or, when the mood takes them, show up to castigate her for allowing Teddy to stay there once more. Teddy then gets driven back to the homeless shelter, until such a time as his mother realizes she needs him again and fetches him back home.
Teddy's brothers say he should be grateful for the times she lets him stay with her, as she is the only one in the world who wants anything to do with him, due to his drinking.
Since being put into the shelter the first time, Teddy has endured occasional nights on the street, beatings for his few meager possessions, and a fall that has permanently damaged his shoulder, causing him to lean forward permanently. Yet he continues to faithfully care for his mother whenever she takes the notion to take him back, in spite of his brothers having ensured that once she is gone, Teddy really will have nobody and nothing in the world, in spite of the many things he has done to help their mother and their family.
Something like a modern day King Lear, where the siblings not only refuse to help their aging parent, but hate the one sibling who actually does.
But to return to the subject of Binnorie, yes, siblings really are capable of doing in another sibling to get what they want. Like Teddy's siblings are slowly killing him.
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